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SALLY TO BE WED Chapter2-part2 by ~maddie-skellington2:iconmaddie-skellington2:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Romantic > Married


Jack looked at her.Jack? hmm? "Jack could see that sally's voice was quiet and sounded scared.Could you come with me to tell him?I'm worried about how he'll act..what if somghint bad happens and i cant tell you?!Sally looked at him,just the look of her eyes he could tell she was upset. ok sally.." thanks jack"i knew i could count on you..she said with a smile.Sally gave jack a kiss on his cheek and jack turned slightly red.So when do you want to tell the mayor? Not sure..sally sighed.She looked at jack with a surpried look,he looked at her with a weird one.what?...." Jack!when are we gonna have the wedding is the real question!      oh!'well....not sure.oh boy...well we have plenty of time to think about it,dont we?
Yea".Jack looked away and sally just looked at him lovingly.He then looked at her.what? Jack..you made me the happiest girl in the world.Jack looked at her and smiled and put her hands in his,all he could do is smile at her.what you wanna do now? not sure, sally said looking at the stars for a while.sally was just lost in her own thought not caring whats going on.jack just looked at her and kinda shouted,sally!sally got started and pushed him down and his head popped off!.sally put her hand over her mouth and picked up his head.she giggled oh jack im sorry.jack coulden't answer he was speechless.sorry..she walked 2 his body and put his head back on.so...i-i'll just go..she walked off a bit then jack grabbed her hands before she was out of reach she smiled.im sorry!its ok.well sally...its getting late..we should get you back.yea...he took her hand and walked her home.they were then on her door step.Her hands were in his.this has been a wonderful night..jack nodded.will you meet me here at 10:00??to tell him? sure sally.she got a kiss from him.I love you jack.."I love you to sally..jack left to go home.sally opend the door she seen Finkelstine in his chair.SALLY!!WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?!?!?he grabbed her arm and pulled her him the ramp and threw her in her room and slammed the door and locked it.Sally ran to the door and banged on it.
©2008-2009 ~maddie-skellington2
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Submitted: May 10, 2008
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Author's Comments

ok part 2 of chapter 2!!!

JACK AND SALLY BELONG TO TIM BURTON


tell me if yew like!!

oh yea...it was my bffs idea that his head popped off...i diddent know exactly how..this isint the real story im looking at it so i changed it a bit!but!still nice!i hope! ok well...i just added spaces.so.u could tell their talkin..i dont rlly care how i write on here.only school!:D
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Comments


~grey-skies-industry:icongrey-skies-industry: May 10, 2008, 8:51:56 PM
Your formatting needs reworking- try adding a lot of spaces, capitalizing proper nouns, and putting quotation marks around dialog. The plotline seems a little stale, too, not to be rude- I suggest using original characters. :)

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"i will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being..."
[modern hippocratic oath]

:flaguk:
~maddie-skellington2:iconmaddie-skellington2: May 10, 2008, 9:00:21 PM
-.-........well hav ya tried reading the others?...and i dun care how i rite it!your not bein graded upon your typing..im worried about spelling..and if ppls like it!:{

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sally:jack..i wish i could tell u..im just so scared...
jack:sally?
sally:jack!theres somthing i need 2 tell you...
jack:yes??
sally:jack..i-i love you!*blushes*
jack:....sally...i love you 2...*kiss*

all love jack and sally~!
~grey-skies-industry:icongrey-skies-industry: May 10, 2008, 9:03:39 PM
I haven't really looked at your other work, but as a rule, if you want to be understood, you should really at least run it through a word processor. I'm not saying this to be rude, just as constructive criticism. I found it a challenge to keep up with the plot merely because I had to rewrite it in my head.

I'm not trying to sound sanctimonius, believe you me- I'm really a very amicable poet, just, well... taciturn at times. There's no need to get upset. :)

--
"i will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being..."
[modern hippocratic oath]

:flaguk:
Mood: Sadness ~maddie-skellington2:iconmaddie-skellington2: May 10, 2008, 9:15:33 PM
fine!want me 2 do all that now!?ill change it,wasting almost 2 hours of writin 3 stories..and i still have 2 more stories 2 put up i write my stories before i put them up it takes a long time!...so just cuz u keep juging how i write..ill change em!just so u dont hav 2 say..add this and that!i worked hard on it and how it is i think its just fine!and so do other ppl!>:d and i say you should look at my other stuff....

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sally:jack..i wish i could tell u..im just so scared...
jack:sally?
sally:jack!theres somthing i need 2 tell you...
jack:yes??
sally:jack..i-i love you!*blushes*
jack:....sally...i love you 2...*kiss*

all love jack and sally~!
~maddie-skellington2:iconmaddie-skellington2: May 10, 2008, 9:17:12 PM
so now im kinda changing it...cuz some1 jugin how i write it!>:[]

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sally:jack..i wish i could tell u..im just so scared...
jack:sally?
sally:jack!theres somthing i need 2 tell you...
jack:yes??
sally:jack..i-i love you!*blushes*
jack:....sally...i love you 2...*kiss*

all love jack and sally~!
~AngelFromMyNightm-re:iconAngelFromMyNightm-re: May 10, 2008, 9:23:10 PM
i like it a lot!!!! but it was a little confusing, went jack and sally talk, you should press enter, so you'll know when their talking :)

..... like this....

......THOMAS!..... #2....... :)

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i am sick and tired of getting mis traded by assholes :chainsaw:
~then-gentlemans-club:iconthen-gentlemans-club: May 10, 2008, 9:35:34 PM
u shud tell gray-skies-industrys to stop bein such a jerk, i suport dis pairin and i think ur story is grate :) don't let sum ppl juge u, jack n sally 4ever!!!1

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IT DOES NOT STRIKE THE CENTER PROPERLY
~yearningnight1031:iconyearningnight1031: May 10, 2008, 9:50:57 PM
nice i like where u are going with this. I will definitely read all of your works whenever they are created and posted as well.

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Do as you please doing nothing to be accepted by others if people can't accept you for who you are they nothing but dirt to you.
~then-gentlemans-club:iconthen-gentlemans-club: May 10, 2008, 10:15:49 PM
PS i made this for u [link]

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IT DOES NOT STRIKE THE CENTER PROPERLY
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